of Indiana weather, wear
layers or die. The
to remember about Indiana seasons is that they
can occur at
spring-like days in January and wintry weekends
in October. April
is capable of
providing a sampling of all four seasons in a
single 24-hour period. For
Indiana is the Layering Capital of the World. Even
however, can pose danger. Golfers
been known to dress for hypothermia and end up
dead of heat stroke
because they couldn't strip off their layers of
plaid fast enough on a
changeable spring morning.
Don't take Indiana place names
town has the same name as a
foreign city --- Valparaiso and Versailles , for
example --- you must
not pronounce them the way the foreigners do
lest you come under
suspicion as a spy. Also,
Enterprise has no counterpart on the west side
of the state. South
Bend is in the
is in the south and French Lick isn't what you
Become mulch literate.
love mulch and appreciate its subtle
difference between hardwood, cypress and pine
bark at a minimum. Researchers
the state affinity for mulch derives from its
relatively flat terrain.
have a subconscious need for
topography, and when it can't be supplied
naturally, they are likely to
make little mulch hillocks in their yards.
best way to sell something in
Indiana is to attach the term 'Amish' to it.
product need not be genuinely
the existence of Amish moo shu pork.
that Hoosiers are never the
first to embrace trends.
they do embrace them, they do so
with a Midwestern pragmatism. For
example, if you
see a Hoosier with a nose ring, there's a good
chance he's had it
undercoated to guard against rust.
gotta know sports In order to talk
sports with obsessive fans in Indiana , you have
to be knowledgeable on
the three levels -- professional, college and
truly expert Indiana sports fan
knows not only the name of the hotshot center at
Abercrombie and Fitch
High School, but also what colleges he's
interested in, how much he
bench-presses, who he took to the prom, and what
he got on his biology
quiz last week.
YOU'RE FROM INDIANA WHEN...
think the state Bird is Larry.
can say 'French Lick' without
laughing out loud.
There's actually a college near you
named ' Ball State.'
know Batesville is the
casket-making capital of the world and you're
proud of it.
could never figure out spring
forward-fall back, so still think you should
just ignore Daylight
know several people who have hit
south to you means Kentucky .
have no problem spelling or
pronouncing Terre Haute ...
school classes were canceled
because of cold.
school classes were canceled
because of heat.
know what the phrase 'knee-high
by the Fourth of July' means.
You've heard of Euchre, you know how
to play Euchre, and you are a master of Euchre..
You've seen a running car, with
nobody in it, in the parking lot of the grocery
store, no matter what
time of year it is.
Detassling was your first job. Bailing
you could stack hay, swim in the
pond to get clean and then have the strength to
play a couple of games
of hoops, all in the same barn lot on the same
say things like catty corner and
know what it means.
install security lights on your
house and garage, and then leave them both
carry jumper cables in your car
drink pop. You
catch frogs at
the crick. If
want someone to hear you, you holler at 'em.
know that baling wire was the
predecessor to duct tape.
know that strangers are the only
ones who come to your front door.
and dogs ride in the passenger
seats of cars and the backs of pickups.
think nothing of driving on the
roads and being stuck behind a farm implement in
spring and fall. You
just hope it's not a hog truck or a manure
school basketball games draw
bigger crowds on the weekend than movie
theaters, IF you have a movie
Driving is better in the winter
because the potholes are filled with snow.
local paper covers national and
international headlines on one page but requires
six for local sports.
can repeat the scores of the
last eight NBA games, but unless the MVP is a
Hoosier, you are not sure
who he is.
can see at least two basketball
hoops from your yard.
can name Bobby Knight's exploits
over the last few years.
biggest question of your youth
was IU or Purdue.
Indianapolis is the BIG CITY.
Getting stuck by a train is a
legitimate excuse for being late to school or
Everyone knows who the town cops
are, where they live, and whether they're at
home or on duty.
You've been to the Covered Bridge
took back roads to get there. Why
sit in traffic?
you, a tenderloin is not an
expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty,
breaded, & fried piece of
pork served on a bun with a pickle.
end your sentences with
prepositions, as in 'Where's it at?' or 'Where's
he going to?'
you are a Hoosier or have Hoosier
roots you will have read this and found
everything to be perfectly
isn't that the way it is everywhere?